IASP’s Remembrance Ceremony in Oslo: A Glow around the World
Sally Spencer-Thomas
Carson J Spencer Foundation (USA)
On Friday, September 27th at dusk, I joined 30
attendees from the International Association for Suicide Prevention’s World
Congress to walk together through the streets of Oslo to attend a Remembrance
Ceremony at Domkirken, Oslo’s main church.
This place was chosen because of its special connection to
supporting communities in grief. After the July 22, 2011 massacre, friends and
loved ones gathered at the Oslo cathedral to mourn the 93 victims killed in
twin terror attacks from a bombing in downtown Oslo and a mass shooting on
Utoya island. Because of the important role the church played after this
tragedy, the church was forever changed and became a place of safety for
community healing.
During the remembrance ceremony, participants from
Australia, Norway, China, Belgium, Ireland, the US and many other countries
encircled a light globe in the center of the sanctuary. After a moment of reflective silence, an
opera singer began a haunting aria that filled the cathedral and brought waves
of emotion over me.
Not only for the losses experienced by our group and the
spread of tragedy the impact of those losses had around the planet, but for the
collective grief of this place and the honoring of the lives that goes in hand
with the mourning.
After a welcome from the church’s pastor and Henning
Herristad from LEVE - The Norwegian Organization for the Suicide Bereaved, Jill Fisher from Australia’s StandBy and I
led the group in a four candle ritual:
FOUR CANDLES RITUAL
The first candle represents
our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our
love for you.
This second candle represents
our courage. To confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to change our
lives.
This third candle we
light in your memory. For the times we laughed, the times we cried, the caring
and joy you gave us.
This fourth candle we
light for our love. We light this candle so that your light will always shine.
As we share this day of remembrance with our family and
friends, we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be
reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us.
We love you. We remember you.
After we had lit our four candles, we invited the others to
join as they were so moved to light a candle in member of a loved one that
passed, in honor of those that struggle with or who have overcome suicide
crises in their lives, and in solidarity of the fight we are in together to end
suicide. Some people said the names of their loved ones out loud, others paid
their respect in silence or in tears. In the end, the glow of the candles
around the globe was more than a ritual, it was a symbol of our how our
international community can pull together out of this human devastation and
bring light and warmth to a world filled with despair.
As we closed our remembrance ceremony, a cappella music
again filled the space with reverence and awe. We exited with our hearts filled
with emotion and made a commitment to bring this tradition to every IASP
conference.
The light shines on.
Reprinted with permission by the American Association of Suicidology and the International Association for Suicide Prevention
International Associate for Suicide Prevention
American Association of Suicidology
