Fatherhood, Depression, and Being a Better Man

Guest Post by Robert Case
Reposted with permission from the American Association of Suicidology


“Luke...I am your father!”

Recognize the line? Back then, when Star War flashed onto the silver screen, the message seemed obvious - conflicts are external and real heroes never give up.

Imagine my chagrin then, as a father with two small children, when our family experienced layoff and divorce. The financial hardship that followed was an external foe. Even though we were going broke in slow motion, I had plenty of training to deal with that kind of adversity. I couldn't cope with the internal foe of fear. I didn't know what to do with the unfilled dreams and desires of the inner man and how those stood in opposition to the outer man I showed to the world every day. What eventually followed was a bout with acute depression.

Photo by Craig Miller

Balancing the world of work with raising children as a single dad eventually demonstrated that I still had lots of grieving to do, lingering issues from that first half of life. To pass the nighttime hours I would walk, journal, and then walk again.

I needed help and fortunately, found it, in community mental health services and individual therapy.  Men’s work became a quest for healing, balance, and wholeness. I found guidance and strength in being able to recommit to the journey of fatherhood. As long as my kids and I were under the same roof, I found ways to access the motivation to stay on that nurturing, providing, and protecting path.

Photo from Public Domain Archive

It was a long time ago. Why should I even bother to tell this story? One reason is because the economics of the present day seem eerily familiar. Secondly, it has taken me this long to find my voice. I hope that sharing this story serves as a demonstration to others, that: (a) It’s OK to stumble, (b) It’s OK to ask for help, and, especially for young men, (c) To be a good father is a high aspiration for any man.

      

Photo From Google Images

*****

Robert is a father, author, and community leader. Years ago, he was diagnosed with acute depression in the wake of layoff and divorce. Through individual therapy and men’s work he experienced recovery and found creative expression in improv, community theater, and writing. Now, he lives in Denver, Colorado where he mentors, serves on the Board of the Edgewater Collective, and delivers keynotes on the subject of legacy, leadership, and eudeamonia.      

Author of Icarus and the Wingbuilder

RCWriter@msn.com

www.robertwilliamcase.com

Link to original article:
http://www.suicidology.org/resources/newslink-blog/entryid/429/fatherhood-depression-and-being-a-better-man