Introduction
by Sally Spencer-Thomas, AAS Survivor of Loss Division Director
Survivors of suicide loss and survivors of suicide attempts often find
the despair to be an overwhelmingly difficult and intense struggle. Survivors
are often referred to support groups or professional counseling, but those
healing strategies don’t necessarily work
for everyone. One of the underutilized things we can do to help ourselves heal
is to volunteer. When people who have been helped through a difficult time are
able to help another, they often find meaning in their own previous struggle
and value the wisdom gained from it.
Guest
blogger Justin Kruger
For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I was living two different lives. In the life that most people see, I am a
husband, a father, a brother and
a friend. If you
asked others to describe me, they might use words like funny, outgoing,
energetic and
confident. If you
asked me, I would also say some of those same things.
But I wouldn’t be telling the
whole truth.
Everyone has fears, but for me, my biggest fear has always been
myself. I feared my
truth. I feared my pain. I feared my vulnerability. And that fear made me feel like I was trapped--
trapped in a never-ending battle between my life as it really was and the life
that I portrayed to others. These fears
were paralyzing. So paralyzing I
considered suicide as my only way out.
But that was not a
passing thought; it is something I deal with every day. That is the disease. That is depression.
When I was at a point in
my life where I felt like I had tried everything I could think of to treat my
depression, when I felt like
it was never going to get better and when one last run in with suicide seemed
inevitable, something completely unexpected happened. I was invited to volunteer. I was invited to give my time planting a
garden for an underprivileged school.
Reluctantly, I agreed. I had
never volunteered. I had never
done anything for someone else with the understanding that I would never be
repaid. I was too
busy living in my own head, my own world, focused on trying to win this never
ending battle with depression. I had absolutely no clue that doing
something as simple as planting a garden would be so impactful on my life.
That day, I learned a lesson that has forever changed my life. I learned that the single best thing you can do for
yourself is to serve others.
While volunteering that day, something was sparked in me that I had
all but forgotten existed. I felt joy. I felt the
joy of helping others. I was part
of something bigger than myself and I was immediately hooked. I had to do it more, and I did. The more I volunteered, the more I gave
back to others, the better I felt about myself and the more my mental health
improved. Finding a
sense of purpose in volunteering gave me the joy I needed to combat my own
depression.
*****
If you're interested in volunteering with the Carson J Spencer Foundation, please contact Heidi Sanchez at heidi@carsonjspencer.org.
*****
About the Author: Justin Kruger is the founder of Project
Helping. Justin has struggled with depression his whole life. The ongoing
struggle is what fuels his passion to help others by providing the joy of
purpose created through volunteering. Project Helping was created to share this
mission with everyone impacted by the disease.
The views expressed in this blog are
those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of AAS.
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