Wednesday, July 8, 2015

A Journey of Lived Experience: Recovery through Volunteering

Introduction by Sally Spencer-Thomas, AAS Survivor of Loss Division Director
Survivors of suicide loss and survivors of suicide attempts often find the despair to be an overwhelmingly difficult and intense struggle. Survivors are often referred to support groups or professional counseling, but those healing strategies dont necessarily work for everyone. One of the underutilized things we can do to help ourselves heal is to volunteer. When people who have been helped through a difficult time are able to help another, they often find meaning in their own previous struggle and value the wisdom gained from it.  

Guest blogger Justin Kruger


For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I was living two different lives.  In the life that most people see, I am a husband, a father, a brother and a friend.  If you asked others to describe me, they might use words like funny, outgoing, energetic and confident.  If you asked me, I would also say some of those same things.  

But I wouldnt be telling the whole truth.

Everyone has fears, but for me, my biggest fear has always been myself.  I feared my truth.  I feared my pain.  I feared my vulnerability.  And that fear made me feel like I was trapped-- trapped in a never-ending battle between my life as it really was and the life that I portrayed to others.  These fears were paralyzing.  So paralyzing I considered suicide as my only way out.  But that was not a passing thought; it is something I deal with every day.  That is the disease. That is depression.  

When I was at a point in my life where I felt like I had tried everything I could think of to treat my depression, when I felt like it was never going to get better and when one last run in with suicide seemed inevitable, something completely unexpected happened.  I was invited to volunteer.  I was invited to give my time planting a garden for an underprivileged school.

Reluctantly, I agreed.  I had never volunteered.  I had never done anything for someone else with the understanding that I would never be repaid.  I was too busy living in my own head, my own world, focused on trying to win this never ending battle with depression.  I had absolutely no clue that doing something as simple as planting a garden would be so impactful on my life.  

That day, I learned a lesson that has forever changed my life.  I learned that the single best thing you can do for yourself is to serve others.  

While volunteering that day, something was sparked in me that I had all but forgotten existed.  I felt joy.  I felt the joy of helping others.  I was part of something bigger than myself and I was immediately hooked.  I had to do it more, and I did.  The more I volunteered, the more I gave back to others, the better I felt about myself and the more my mental health improved.  Finding a sense of purpose in volunteering gave me the joy I needed to combat my own depression.

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 If you're interested in volunteering with the Carson J Spencer Foundation, please contact Heidi Sanchez at heidi@carsonjspencer.org.

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About the Author: Justin Kruger is the founder of Project Helping. Justin has struggled with depression his whole life. The ongoing struggle is what fuels his passion to help others by providing the joy of purpose created through volunteering. Project Helping was created to share this mission with everyone impacted by the disease.


The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of AAS.

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